Being in love and with someone special, when everything is going fine, can be such a fulfilling experience. Simply having someone to share your thoughts, fears, silly jokes, precious moments, and everything in between is what most of us long to experience in a relationship.
However, relationships, despite their share of precious and beautiful moments, aren’t devoid of moments of loneliness. In fact, no relationship, unless consciously and consistently worked upon, can remain a montage of happy memories alone. Marriage is no different and offers no certain protection from the silence of loneliness. Sometimes, despite having someone to cuddle at night or the biggest rock on your finger, one can find themselves feeling totally isolated and well, alone.
Sadly, most people fail to perceive loneliness as a condition that needs deliberation let alone attention. They often brush it away as something that stems from a lack of purpose or thing to do. Somehow being lonely is often misunderstood as being idle and/or bored. So instead of taking time to address the true cause of loneliness, people are quick to suggest activities that can help you kill time.
Loneliness and Boredom are not the same. Quite the opposite actually. They should therefore be seen as two separate conditions. While boredom can be easily handled by keeping yourself active and interested, loneliness isn’t so easy to handle. When lonely, one can be in the best of company yet feel totally stripped of companionship.
If you are in a relationship but still feel lonely, then the first thing to do is to know that you are not alone. Understand that this is most likely a temporary phase in your life and will pass by in some time. Reach out to your partner for support and help. Sometimes, simply being honest and open can create the space for mindful conversations and togetherness. Here are a few other things you can do to regain your partner’s company- and I mean in it in more ways than just being physical and sexual.
Connect with your partner when:
1. You are Feeling Particularly Vulnerable and Authentic
This is the time you’re most likely to make most sense. It’s also the time your ego is likely to take a back seat, thereby allowing you to speak the truth without jumping to blame or judge your partner.
2. You Are Open Enough To Revisit Your Pain Triggers and Reach Out for Support
Sometimes, especially while dealing with depression or loneliness, the mere thought of revisiting the painful memories or triggers might be enough to stop you from discussing your problems or seeking help. Tune into a time and space when you’ve probably had enough of the issue and have gathered the strength to face your demons head on. Surround yourself with positivity and with it as your anchor, open your heart out and seek help. In essence, only when you are able connect with yourself and by that I mean you are your most authentic self, will you be able to connect with your partner.
3. You are ready to learn and Move on
If you’ve reached a space where you can recognize your mistakes without wanting to hide them, then recognize it as the best time to make your relationship work. If you can accept the fact that you have made your share of mistakes and want to amend those mistakes, then you’ll be more capable of finding a solution when in conflict with your partner.
4. You Understand the Other Side of the Story
So often, we become consumed by our tragic stories that we refuse to believe there could someone who is suffering equally, if not more, on the other side. If you can look at your partner with compassion and love, you’ll be able to see their side of the story too. Once you’re able to do that, making things work will be as easy as walking together, hand in hand, until you’re so consumed with each others company that there is no space for loneliness and misunderstandings to creep back in.