Why Saying “I love You” Several Times a Day is not enough to make a Relationship Work? – Almost everyone who wants to get into a relationship wants to meet and settle down with the right person. What’s more, most of them want their relationship to last. Sadly, despite all that positivity and earnestness going to making a relationship work, an increasing number of romantic partnerships end up in heartbreak. While some people settle for half-hearted relationships, some others choose to walk out in dissolution. In an attempt to decipher the possible causes, I’ve listed the most common reasons for broken or failed relationships.
1. Lack of Trust is Love killer
I put this at the very top of my list as a lack or loss of trust is often the first most detrimental cause of a failing/failed relationship. These triggers can stem from factors such as jealousy and possessiveness to infidelity, dishonesty as well as lack of reliability and compatibility. Sometimes, the promises or expectations you start off with aren’t something you can entirely live up to. And when a relationship lacks trust, it also lacks the security to anchor and seal the relationship together.
If you think trust is a reason for worry in your relationship (or was in your former relationship), then it’s important you understand the source for any mistrust. Talk to your partner and address the issues right away. Sometimes, just speaking about the problem will help create the space to mend and fix any broken promises.
2. Expectations, Expectations, and well, More Expectations
Let’s face it; despite all the love and mush, walking a journey together with your loved one can be a rather bumpy and rough trek. To begin with, the emotions and qualities that draw two people together – and by that I mean physical, emotional, personality and social attractions- can become less central as the relationship ages. Over time, people change and so do their opinions, priorities, and expectations. What might have been the very reason for initial attraction can become something’s that taken for granted, making room for newer and endless expectations.
The first thing I tell myself is to expect from no one but myself. And no, I don’t say this from a space of arrogance; where I think I don’t want to be indebted or dependent on anyone. I say this because I’ve realized how dropping the expectations can help you relieve any unwanted and negative baggage from a relationship. Simply dropping any unnecessary expectations (barring the ones that are ethical and absolutely necessary) and loving your partner wholeheartedly will make room for magic to happen.
3. Compatibility Issues- Moving Through Life at Different Speeds
This is, by far, the most common reason for failed relationships. And yes, it covers the lack of communication that most people complain about. If one individual in the relationship is learning and evolving at a rapid pace and the other person is not, then soon or later, they’ll be friction between mutual interests and neither will have anything to say or contribute. The source of this divergence can stem from professional, personal, social, and/or spiritual evolution. When two people have conflicting ideas and interests, it becomes difficult to reach a common place. Thus forcing them to physically, emotionally, and intellectually grow apart in time.
If you’re facing these issues, then I urge you to take time to rediscover your partner. If he/she has changed but has changed for the right reasons and you have not, then it’s important to take the initiative to reach a common ground. Spend time listening to his/her views. Likewise, discuss your opinions on matters that interest you. Make an effort to learn about each other again. You’ll soon realize if you’re indeed compatible enough to make the relationship work a second time.